J Sbu opens up about the real reason he is terrified of the ocean in tribute to his late brother
J Sbu shares his story...
In honour of International drowning prevention day, J Sbu admits that he is still deeply scarred from an incident involving his late brother.
A year ago Stacey and J Sbu did a content piece on things you wish you could take back that were said in an argument with a loved one. This caused J Sbu to open up about his own story.
J Sbu's regret was and still is an altercation that he had with his now late younger brother, Siphamandla.
Siphamandla passed away on the first of January 2011, the very same day that J Sbu shared with Stacey and the rest of KZN that he had, had a fight with him.
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In case you missed the show that day, here is a recap of the on air moment:
In the Nxumalo family, the first of January symbolized new beginnings, as a tradition- the family would always go to the beach for some quality family time and cleansing of their spirits.
In 2011 the day had began with a rift between the two Nxumalo boys, who not only exchanged harsh words in a heated argument but that escalated to something physical.
J Sbu admits that he is still deeply scarred from that incident because that last interaction would be their last conversation ever. Siphamandla would later pass away on that day after drowning in the ocean.
That moment for me really changed who I am as a person and really changed of how I viewed the ocean. For the longest time I resented anything that was associated with the ocean and the beach. It may sound silly but I would not even have sea food because my thinking was that it came from a place that took my brothers life.
This hatred for what the ocean symbolized was transferred to J Sbu's son, Zanda. When he was old enough to be able to start swim school- it was very triggering for J Sbu.
READ: Year In Review: A heartfelt tribute by J Sbu
He was adamant that Zanda would not be in the ocean or even a swimming pool.
Till this day, J Sbu is extremely uncomfortable to be anywhere near water- whether it be a intimate pool party or a trip to the beach that he cannot get himself out of. It was only until recently that J Sbu was able to interrogate his fear and relationship with the ocean.
I think it is very, very important for me to not be selfish and take it upon myself to be apart of the journey of my son learning how to swim. It still makes my eyes watery the image of my son being in a pool or the beach because I still have real fear even though I will be there supervising my son in the water, the fear and trauma of flashbacks of what happened to my brother still haunts me. But I know that it is unfair to my son. Not only for him to learn how to swim as a hobby but from a safety point of view- in an event where he has to be able to survive in water, at least he will be equipped for it.
Listen to the full podcast of J Sbu sharing more of his story and his relationship with the ocean: