"I believe my partner has an unhealthy coping mechanism with alcohol"
Most of us are scared to admit to it out loud, but many of us have unhealthy coping mechanisms when we are overwhelmed or stressed out. For some, it's turning to food or alcohol.
Coping mechanisms are said to be an outlet to avoid an internal struggle that one is facing. Some of the most common unhealthy coping mechanisms, as shared by Life Hack, are:
1. Excessive drug or alcohol consumption or abuse thereof
2. Turning to large amounts of junk food for comfort
3. Oversleeping or sleeping very little
4. Retail therapy
5. Personal punishment, self harm
All of which are incredibly unhealthy and can have long lasting emotional and physical damage. A KZN listener, whom would like to remain anonymous, has reached out to Stacey and JSbu because he is concerned about an unhealthy habit that he feels his girlfriend has picked up during the last couple of months.
Listen to anonymous' story as told in his own words or read his story below:
I think my partner may have an alcohol problem, or should I say an unhealthy coping mechanism which is related to alcohol- I would not go as far as labelling her an alcoholic. The story is, early this year she had to be retrenched from her dream job- everyone knows the deal with COVID and how many companies were struggling. Now, we live together and in our relationship I take care of the big bills and she takes care of the household bills such as groceries. She is in a bit of a slump as she tries to find a new job and is drinking almost every night, lunch and dinner and just before bed- she does not get necessarily wasted every day but her alcohol intake and the frequency is making me super uncomfortable. How do I approach this conversation with her whilst still being loving and respectful?
Anonymous is concerned over his girlfriend's consumption of alcohol. According to him, this change or increase in his girlfriend's alcohol consumption is the result of her losing her job unexpectedly when she was retrenched from work during the SA COVID-19 lockdown.
Like many businesses, anonymous' girlfriend's company had to cut costs and she was unluckily one of the staff members who had to be let go of. This has led her to sink into a depression where she feels worthless. He is cautious to not label his girlfriend as an alcoholic, but is gravely concerned that she is developing a habit that may turn into an addiction if not addressed.
He is looking for advice on how he can navigate the conversation with her using the greatest deal of empathy, respect, and non judgement.
Stacey and JSbu have encouraged anonymous to have a sit down with his girlfriend only after he has had a chance to speak to a counsellor, who may give him tools on how to respectively bring up the conversation. The duo applaud anonymous' bravery in reaching out for assistance and wish the couple nothing but the best of luck.
Have you ever had an unhealthy coping mechanism? How did you manage to turn those negative coping mechanisms into something more positive?
If you or anyone you know is struggling with alcohol abuse and need help, you can contact Alcohol Anonymous South Africa.
For more from #Stacey&JSbu, check out past episodes below: