Give the KIND compliment
There is plenty of science to suggest that giving a compliment can have a big impact on a person’s self-image, performance, and the way they are likely to act next in any given situation. So, what’s the hold up?
As simple as saying "well done", "thank you", and "good job" might be, we aren’t always so good at pushing send on the good vibes. We underestimate the immense power we hold with these words. Our negative brain tells us that they don’t need or won’t really appreciate our kind words. This is, of course, untrue, because we could all do with some motivation and appreciation every now and then.
Or, we feel nervous or unsure about how it’s going to be received. And that makes sense, because we want to keep it professional and polite. So, we let the moment and opportunity pass. But there are ways of giving compliments and thanks without crossing a line. Like, sticking to the facts, doing it on a public forum, using simple language, checking with a friend if it’s okay (if you’re really unsure).
We can also worry that giving praise or showing gratitude might give people the green light to stop trying hard. And that would be a mistake, when most people experience compliments as fuel to keep going (because at the end of the day we all want to be affirmed and seen).
Receiving compliments and messages of gratitude can have a significant impact on cancelling out stress and other negative feelings. This can therefore have a significant impact on shifting work space cultures from competitive spaces to encouraging and supporting spaces. The latter having a positive spin on experience and productivity.
Start to practice complimenting and showing gratitude by setting small goals for yourself. Practice in relationships which are less intimidating and supportive to start. Then, become more mindful of including words in what you say like "thank you", "well done", and "good job" in more of your daily communication. We saw a great quote this week, which suggested replacing the word ‘sorry’ with ‘thank you’ in more of your message. And as you get more practiced (and you realise people are not going to judge or laugh at your compliments), start to share the joy in other relationships.
The best part is - energy goes where energy flows. And although we don’t give to receive, there’s a strong chance the more gratitude and praise you put out there, the more you are likely to receive.
For more inspiration from the KindnessCan team, access past episodes below: