PARENTING: "When I discovered I was pregnant, I fell into depression..."
Not usually what expectant mothers say...
Being a working parent is no easy feat. There are those days that you find yourself running out of the house in a rush. And then there are those days where you have it all together and you think, I've got this!
Marlize Jacobs, a mother to five children, shared her story about being a working mother. She wanted to share her story so that if it reaches just one person who is struggling with the abundant responsibilities and stressful environment of being a parent, she will feel like she's helped in some way.
And the truth is, isn't that what we are all trying to do? Be the best we can be and share that with other parents who are doing the same...
When I discovered I was pregnant with twins, I began falling into a downward spiral of anxiety and, eventually, depression. I already had three children and a responsible job. How on earth would I keep working, run a household and care for five children?
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She went through peripartum depression and admits that this can happen to anyone regardless of their financial or life circumstances. They got pregnant whilst using contraceptives, so, at first, it was sort of a miracle, but when she found out that they would have twins, it started stressing her out.
At first she thought it was her hormones and it was the stress of dealing with all the household responsibilities, on top of raising her three kids and working. She admits that she found some perspective after her first trimester when she shared her worries with her husband.
One day, I told him how worried I was about all we would have to buy and do. He responded by saying that we don’t have real problems. There were people without jobs, people who were starving or ill with Covid-19, and they were really struggling. That gave me some mental perspective I had lost.
Marlize ended up going through the motions and starting to accept that everything was going to be okay. She sought out help from her doctor and was starting to do better.
But as that happened, her twins went into distress and she had to have an emergency C-section. She would have to stay with her babies in hospital and her worries crept in again, because what would happen with the rest of her family?
Read more: Celebrities who have battled with depression
Then I realised there was a bigger picture. By the time the babies were ready to go home, I too would be healed physically from the surgery, and I had time to heal emotionally, too. I would be able to welcome the babies home and give them my full attention.
Her advice is both sound and realistic, and we think it mirrors the values and beliefs of our very own Carol Ofori.
To other moms feeling as I did, I ask you to give yourself a little grace. Things will not work out perfectly - we are all human beings - but you are able to find a way through. Tell yourself you will be OK, even if it is hard to believe. You cannot do it alone – ask for help. People are glad to step in, especially when children are involved. (((We just need to stop being proud and find the guts to ask.)) Your worry makes you live in the future, not the present. Live one day at a time. Try, if possible, to do things calmly, controlling your mind and emotions. Find time for yourself, even if it is very short, and use every moment wisely. When your child is born, put structures in place, as much as possible, to help you cope. Then, live in the moment.
Image Courtesy of Facebook