PARENTING: My four-year-old daughter: "I don't want to be brown anymore"
It's situations such as these that make parenting a higher grade affair...
Parenting is a lot at times. Not to say that it isn't a fulfilling experience, but there are moments where you feel like you are really being tested as a parent. Whichever form that test comes in, it is truly one that many parents can struggle with.
From teaching your kid right from wrong, or ensuring that they don't take on violence, stealing or become a mob boss. There is a list of things that go through any parent's mind at some point of parenthood.
One such thought and challenge that always gets us is teaching children about diversity and race. It is a sensitive topic in our country and the world over, but to remember that sensitivity doesn't mean ignorance and closed-mindedness, is of utter importance.
A mother contacted Carol Ofori in this week's Bad Moms Club, sharing her story about her four-year-old daughter. She said:
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Hi Bad Moms Club, My 4-year-old daughter came home from school today and said she doesn’t want to be brown anymore. She said she would like to be the same colour as one of her friends (who I cannot name) ‘so he will play with her too’. This came out of nowhere so I’m sure her friend must have said something. My heart aches for her. I showed her pictures of brown women and told her how beautiful we are. Before I investigate the matter at the school, how do I help my child through this journey? What do I say? I’m completely heartbroken.
Being part of a culture of parenting that is able to handle these kinds of topics in the best way, can be challenging. But we think that the first thing to do is to not panic. Being calm and taking a moment to really think about what your little one is feeling, is integral.
Acting out of anger or emotion doesn't benefit anyone, most especially your child, who is confused, hurt, and going through a range of emotions that they probably don't even understand.
Listen to advice from KZN parents, Carol Ofori, and parent coach and education specialist, Ayanda Tetyana.
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