LISTEN: One tweet opens up a can of worms when it comes to 'dead beat fathers'...
Fathers. How impactful is their absence on a child’s life, and
what about the mother’s role?
We recently saw something online that started a very interesting, and somewhat sensitive topic online. After Award-winning journalist and YouTuber Mandy Ndlangisa tweeted a screengrab of her conversation with the father of her child, people felt the need to express their true feelings.
Mandy shared that after 13-years of not asking for anything from the father of her child, she would seek some assistance from him. And of the many things she could’ve asked for, it was their child’s school fees.
So I asked my baby daddy (who’s never been present physically or financially for 13 years) to help me out with school fees (I’ve never asked him for anything by the way) this is what he had to say 💔 pic.twitter.com/c4bbuUIss9
— The Millennial Mom (@MandyNdlangisa) January 31, 2022
Save that msg and show your daughter when she's old enough and then she'll decide if she wants to be part of him or not, because for me he doesn't deserve to be called dad by this child, I'm so disappointed atleast he should've stopped where he said he don't have money
— Pinkie (@pintim54) January 31, 2022
He did not respond in the way she wanted. His truth hurt her and this prompted a swayed audience over Twitter. The sad reality is that as much as this is a personal matter and doesn't necessarily paint all fathers with the same brush, it is something that affects the kids on a deep level.
Some defended him, whilst others used this as an opportunity to share their own stories of feeling left alone in the single moms club, and then there was another perspective.
For other moms who are single parents, please ask a man how much a man can afford for school fees per month before you enrol the child or impose school fees for him unless you know you can afford it with or without his help.
— Nala (@Nala_Denga) January 31, 2022
#CurroSchoolFees Child maintenance is such a triggering topic for me as a child who grew up being supported through the courts, I never understood why my dad was forced to love and care for me.
— Mmatheto ❣️ (@Mmatheto_km) January 31, 2022
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One that shared the way the child feels… A perspective that rarely gets recognised or made the focal point, mainly because of the unresolved feelings between the parents.
Carol Ofori shared a very personal account about her days of dating, when she once liked a man who was a father. At the time, one of things that was a deal breaker for her was whether or not this man was actively involved in his child’s life. Since he was not, things didn’t go far with them, but this says a lot about her views on the topic.
Carol wanted to speak to someone about the role that fathers have and take when it comes to being part of their kids’ lives. Because as much as this tweet opened up varied view points, it also touched on the fact that many mothers are doing it alone, without the support of the father.
"While researching the effect of absent fathers on families and childcare responsibilities for her Master’s in Population Studies degree in 2019 at UKZN, Nokwanele Noxolo Mhlongo found that there was a remarkably high number of absent but living fathers in South Africa." (IOL)
Considering the socio-economic conditions of this country, there are certain factors that hinder paternal involvement. The youth unemployment rate is sitting at 55.2 percent resulting in the challenging environments South African men find themselves as fathers in. They try but sometimes fail to fill the perceived role of a father as a financial provider.
Take a listen to the interview between Carol Ofori and Gary da Silva from Fathers 4 Justice. Contact Gary at [email protected] or visit the Fathers 4 Justice website: www.f4j.co.za.
Image Courtesy of iStock