Breaking the silence: Men and mental health in SA
Updated | By ECR / DW
South African men are silently suffering. Many are dying inside, and some are taking their own lives. In the latest episode of Don’t Hold Back, Zola Tshayana talks about stigma, survival, and the power of vulnerability.

Men feel disenfranchised. Men feel that they have been yanked out of who they are. I was never taught what else is there for me to do. I was taught to provide physically, security (and) financially. I've never been taught to provide emotionally, I've never been taught to deal with my issues because when I go through something, I'm told men don't cry.- Zola "Blackie" Tshayana
Content warning: Sensitive topics
South African men are silently suffering. Many are dying inside, and some are taking their own lives. In the latest powerful episode of Don’t Hold Back, host Nozibele Qamngana-Mayaba sits down with poet, author, and social activist Zola Tshayana to talk about a crisis too often ignored: the mental health of men in South Africa.
Zonwabele shares his own story: growing up without a father, surviving two suicide attempts, and living through an identity crisis as a young man in a society that teaches boys to bottle up their pain. He reveals how stigma, silence, and a hunger for validation shaped his struggles, and how breaking that silence changed his life.
ALSO READ: Anxiety once 'paralyzed' me: Former Miss SA
Nozibele and Zola talk about the emotional toll of growing up without knowing one’s father, the deep-rooted fears men carry, and how families, especially women, can offer more support.
Together, they ask: How do we raise emotionally healthy boys in a world that seems to punish vulnerability? And what will it take to build a future where men no longer suffer in silence?
If you're raising boys, loving a man, or healing from your own wounds, this episode is an essential watch or listen.
Meanwhile, in the Season 3 launch episode of this award-winning video podcast, powerhouse speaker and mother of twins, Sibulele Sibaca-Nomnganga, joined Nozibele to unpack what it really means to overcome the odds. They explored Sibulele’s journey through profound grief, after losing both parents as a child, and how she transformed that pain into purpose.
Sibulele candidly shared her experiences with miscarriage, IVF, and ultimately becoming a twin mom, while rising to become a respected leader in the NGO sector. The conversation delved into themes of healing, vulnerability, societal expectations, and the challenges of leading while carrying personal grief.
Listen or watch below.
Don’t Hold Back is an internationally recognised podcast created by East Coast Radio, Jacaranda FM, and Deutsche Welle. Each episode tackles taboo topics and real-life challenges faced by South Africans under 35 - from identity and culture to mental health and relationships.
MORE ABOUT NOZIBELE QAMNGANA-MAYABA:
Nozibele Qamngana-Mayaba is an award-winning author, HIV activist, certified life coach, and TV presenter. She is best known for her bestselling book I Am Still Me and for hosting the groundbreaking docu-series #YesIHaveHIV, which earned critical acclaim for its impact on HIV awareness in South Africa. A respected public speaker and social commentator, Nozibele uses her platforms to challenge stigma, empower young people, and lead honest conversations about identity, health, and personal growth.
Don’t Hold Back has received international and local recognition, including:
- Bronze Winner - 2023 Anthem Awards (Education, Art & Culture / Podcast or Audio)
- Finalist - 2023 New York Festivals Radio Awards
- Shortlisted - 2023 Publisher Podcast Awards (Best Health & Wellbeing Podcast)
- Finalist - 2023 AIB Awards (Presenter of the Year: Nozibele Qamngana-Mayaba)
- Spotlight of the Year (Podcast) - 2023 African Podcast and Voice Awards
- Gold Winner - 2024 South African Podcasting Awards (Wellness & Relationships)
Find more episodes of #DontHoldBack in the channel below, or wherever you get your favourite podcasts:
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